Dear Children and Adults of Macon (Region F389 – N. Pole Nav. System),
I thought of something this week.
As I sat and read through a few dozen requests for iPods, iPads, iPhones, iTouches, iBook, iMacs, Kindles, and Wiis, (sometimes all of them from the same child), something occurred to me. If children are falling asleep with visions of PS3s and Nike Airs dancing in their heads, surely their parents dream of something, too.
I would love to hear from the adults of Macon County.
What is it? A sewing machine? A Caribbean cruise? A sweater with Rudolph’s face on it? (Although while we’re on that subject, the loss of royalty monies sustained lately by poor Rudy, in sweater sales alone, is abominable, and manufacturers will eventually need to be made aware of it. A lot of people just assume public domain…) A tie with my face on it? (See previous parenthesis.) Whatever it is that you dream of when your head hits your pillow, I must know about it, or I can take no action whatsoever.
Now to the children, I wanted to offer a gentle reminder that the economy is not what it once was. Santa wants you to dream big, but let us always consider things realistically, and try to estimate the number of devices an average human can hold in his hands at one time. Have you counted your thumbs lately?
Don’t take this as a rebuke, children; remember that I will do everything I can for you this Christmas. I want you to think very clearly about something you will enjoy and use, and ask for those things. Ask for unicorns, ask for jelly beans, even ask for a 3rd edition copy of Peter Pan—just ask for things that you truly want, not only for things that your classmates have.
So, again, let me remind you: send your letters to the Times for me Wednesday, December 12. You can email them to firstname.lastname@example.org, drop them by the Times office at 200 Times Ave. Lafayette, TN, or put them in the mailbox.
Santa Claus, Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, Sinterklaas, etc, etc.