‘Around the Hills'

When I was a growing boy Halloween was just not that big of a deal. I mean, there was trick-or-treating and a few minor pranks pulled, but that was about it.

There were two pranks that became the stuff of rural legend in our part of the country. On one prank, a group of high school boys took a mule wagon apart and re-assembled it on top of a general stove. In yet another episode, a bunch of boys took white paint and zebra stripped a farmer's mule. They even painted white circles around the mule's eyes. It is told that the next morning, the farmer was surprised and even the mule had a funny look on his face.

Another popular Halloween prank (or trick) was often discussed among my boyhood friends. First, you shoveled a fresh pile of cow manure into a big, brown paper grocery sack. Then, you carefully took the sack to town and placed it on someone's front porch, just in front of the door. After tearing the top of... the sack open, you wadded up a few newspaper pages and place them on top of the sack. Then, you set the paper of fire, rang the door bell, and ran.

Under ideal conditions, the victim would open the front door, see the fire, rush outside and attempt to stomp out the fire. The second most desired circumstance would be that the stomper was wearing his house shoes. The very best situation would be for him to be barefooted.

I never tried this particular prank, but I had friends who did and reported excellent results.

There are two trick-or-treating incidences I especially remember. One night as my friend William Denny and I were standing at the corner of Main Street and Morris Avenue, a car sped by us with windows rolled down. Suddenly I heard two sounds back to back. The first sound was a loud “splatt.” The second was William hollering, “oooooh.”

Having seen a projectile in the form of a rotten tomato hurled from the car, William had turned just in time to take it in the back. A rotten tomato can do some damage. He was wearing his new Carthage Owls letter jacket. We had to go back to his house and get him cleaned up before we could continue.

In another incident, William's next door neighbor, Mark was running full-speed in the dark through someone's back yard with a Tootsie Roll Pop in his mouth when he ran into a clothes line. That's where the term “clothe lined” comes from in football jargon. The wire caught him just above his Adam's Apple. Of course, it almost took his head off. And he nearly swallowed that Tootsie Roll Pop; stick and all. Needless to say, he couldn't swallow easily for weeks.

All in all, it was a safer time back when I was trick-or-treating. My parents would drop me off in town around dusk on Halloween night and pick me up at the pre-arranged place about ten o'clock. And people didn't spend a lot of money on Halloween.

A few weeks back I marveled when I saw an elaborate display of Halloween costumes and candies at a Wal-Mart store. I wondered how much money American's would spend on Halloween this year. I would soon get my answer.

The National Retail Federation estimates in the October 23 edition of USA Today that Americans will shell out nearly $6 billion dollars for Halloween this year. That's right - - - $6 billion. According to the population of the United States, that's between $15 and $20 dollars for every man, woman, child, and probably, a few dogs and cats. $6 billion - - - that's almost 10% of what the politicians are saying it will take to bail out the economy. $6 billion on Halloween! Looks like someone besides the politicians are over spending. Maybe we all could do a little financial belt-tightening.

I, for one, will not spend any money on Halloween this year. I have however, kept my eyes open as I've driven the country roads for the past few days and I do have a half-gallon of white paint left over from painting the ceilings in my house last year.

If you, by chance have a black mule, you might want to put him in the barn Friday night.

Copyright 2008 Jack McCall