“You just can't keep looking back,” Delilah Cross said with a big smile, proudly showing her “PATH” certificate from the Tennessee Department of Children's Services and Center for Child Welfare.
PATH is an acronym for “Parents As Tender Healers”, and Ms Cross just earned her PATH certificate by completing thirty hours of training, to become a foster parent.
“They told me there are more than ninety children in the Macon, Trousdale, and Clay County area that need foster care,” Delilah explained. “And they said there are only eleven families in the area certified to provide foster care,” she added.
Now that Delilah is a certified foster parent, she can't wait to have children placed in her home.
“I'm just waiting for that first knock on the door, or that phone call, telling me there's a child out there that needs my love and care! I can take up to three kids.” she exclaimed.
The Cross home is so warm, inviting, and child friendly, the only thing that could shout Delilah's message any louder would be a sign out front that reads, “Children Welcome”!
One room has been converted to a colorful bedroom, filled with toys for boys and girls of all ages.
An infant crib graces the corner of another room, flanked by drawers full of diapers and infant clothing-and more toys.
Smoke detectors were added, and safety locks have been installed on the kitchen cabinets, in compliance with foster care standards. The big back yard offers a gazebo, a swing set, and a trampoline.
“I told them I would take children ages zero through five, but I would be glad to take kids up to twelve,” the eager foster mom-to-be enthused. “I'd also be glad to take a sibling group. I'd hate to see sibling group split up,” she added. “I just love kids, and Roger did too.”
When Delilah Cross says, “you just can't keep looking back,” she is talking about her struggle and determination to move forward and make a happy life for herself and her young son Gage, after the loss of her husband Roger, a little less than two years ago.
“Everybody loved Roger,” the young widow sighed. “He coached T-ball and Pee wee football; you name it, he did it,” she smiled, also pointing out items Roger made around her home.
Roger Cross died suddenly, at home, the evening of February 10, 2005.
“There was no warning,” Delilah began. “I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room, telling me we needed to go get some canned biscuits. I told him I'd make him some biscuits, and he said, “I hate to tell you honey, but your biscuits could choke a mule!” She laughed, recalling the couple's last moments of playful bantering.
“The next thing I knew, he called for help,” she continued. “I was a CNA for nine years; I did CPR, but it didn't help. There was nothing more I could do”.
Talking about Roger's death, and the long and difficult days that followed, appears to bolster Delilah's resolve to move ahead, and her determination to share her strength and her love with others.
During the weeks and months following the death of her husband of 24 years, and still reeling from the emotional roller coaster of grief, Delilah Cross had to face the practical, but harsh, realities of daily living.
“I never drove a day in my life,” she disclosed. “But, I had to learn.”
“I got my permit, and it took me three tries, but I finally got my driver's license in August, 2006. That car out there is all mine, free and clear,” Delilah proudly pointed to her little white car in the driveway. “I have two child car seats, and a booster seat, but I still need to buy an infant car seat,” she explained.
Each day offered new challenges, as Delilah increased her self-confidence and independence.
“I can't get over how good everybody in the community was to Gage and me after Roger died,” she declared.
“Then at Christmas time this year, Sheriff Mark Gammons and a yard full of deputies showed up on my doorstep. I didnt know what wasgoing on.” she added.
“I thought Gage was in trouble, or something!” Delilah laughed.
“Mark Gammons had this huge box! It was that big electronic basketball game over there, and boxes full of other games,” the grateful mom smiled as she showed off her son's electronic basketball game that takes up half the space in her dining room.
“Sheriff Gammons shook hands with Gage and I just about cried,” she added.
“We adopted Gage in Mexico, when he was just two days old,” Delilah explained. “He was so close to Roger; they did everything together. Roger's dream was for Gage to play football. Now Gage is excited about the idea of having kids in the house. He wants to share his things,” she explained.
Delilah is equally proud of her grown-up son Shaun, who has his own landscaping business, and the two young women she raised as foster daughters.
“Shaun landscaped our front yard,” the proud mom said.
The walls and tables in the Cross home are covered with photographs of Gage and Shaun, as well as pictures of the children who call Delilah ‘grandma'.
“This is Shaun's beautiful daughter,” the proud young grandma beamed, showing a new photograph, waiting for a frame. “And I have a newborn grand baby, from one of my two foster daughters I raised,” she continued. “They still call me mama, and their kids all call me grandma.”
The role of foster parent is not completely new to Delilah. Over the years, she cared for children the court placed in her care, and she provided baby-sitting services for Upper Cumberland, as well as friends and neighbors.
“Sometimes I think I've helped raise about half of Macon County,” she laughed.
Delilah worked at the Palace, in Red Boiling Springs, for several years; and although she says she will miss everyone there, she recently resigned her job there to devote full time to foster parenting.
“One of the girls I worked with at the Palace told me today, she's going to look into becoming a foster parent. She didn't know they'd let single parents be foster parents, until I told her I was doing it,” Delilah enthused.
“I've got this house, and time, love, and patience to give, but other people do too,” the new foster mom declared.
“We need more people to open their hearts and homes to take care of these children. I just want people to know about the need that's out there, and think about becoming foster parents, Delilah added, determined to spread the word and increase the number of foster families in this area.
Mohandas Gandhi is credited with saying, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”. Delilah Cross is surely living that truth.
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