Dear Children of Macon (Region F389 – N. Pole Nav. System),
Don’t forget! I’m still waiting for your letters!
This is just a quick reminder to write up a little note about what you want for Christmas. If you’d like, you can even tell me why you think you should get it. Have you been good this year? I certainly need to know those things.
Then send them to the Times for me by Wednesday, December 12. You can email them to firstname.lastname@example.org, drop them by the Times office at 200 Times Ave. Lafayette, TN, or put them in the mailbox. The Times will, as usual, send them straight to N. Pole Processessing.
And don’t mess around. Now that Thanksgiving is over, crunch time has really set in. (‘Crunch time’ up here at the shop is that time of year when elves are most likely to have large toys—such as rocking horses and Ford F-150s—fall on them, resulting in injury. But here I use it in the modern American colloquial sense, referring to deadlines.)
Well, I’m off to the shop! Inspection today in the bakery department, and the Public Health Commission up here is terribly thorough (they want everything “on ice, on ice”—though I’ve always told them that basic refrigeration works just as well, especially for gingerbread).
Santa Claus, Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, Sinterklaas, etc, etc.