As we turn our attention to December, that can mean only one thing - Christmas shows on TV.

Now, there are the traditional ones, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph and a host of others. And then there's the one - I forget the name - about a long eared donkey. I was maybe eight or nine when I saw that one and I don't remember what it was about, except that I sobbed like a baby when the donkey's mom died.

However, my taste in Christmas programming took a hard left turn somewhere during my formative years, so I'm sometimes a little, well, weird, in what I watch during the holidays. So I thought I'd offer up my top 10 alternative Christmas viewing list, some are funny and some are classics, while others may offend your sensibilities. But you can bet I'll watch all of these this season. So without further adieu...

10. Bad Santa. Look, this is a horrible take on Christmas. It is crass, crude and depressing. It is a movie during which my dad actually walked out of the theater. But, it is a far cry different from the sacharine sweetness of most normal Christmas offerings, and in the end, you find out the main character, played by Billy Bob Thornton, really does have a soft spot. Keep the kids as far away from this one as possible.

9. Beavis and Butthead Do Christmas. Let's just stay in the gutter for a moment shall we? Television's stupidest pair each experience their own versions of classic Christmas tales after being separated from one another on Christmas Eve. It is stupid, but be ready to hold your gut from the laughter. And think twice before letting the kids watch.

8. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Chevy Chase and his lovable family are hysterical in this movie that is quickly becoming a modern classic. Some of it is crude (seems to be a theme with me) but it is very funny, and Randy Quaid is brilliant.

7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I grew up with this program and still just love it. "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch." I wonder if I could adopt a little Who. And for the record, I’m talking the cartoon version, not Jim Carey’s heresy.

6. A Miracle on 34th Street. I prefer the black and white version, but who can resist a feel good movie about the value of believing in Santa Claus?

5. A Nightmare Before Christmas. In Tim Burton's odd film, Jack Skellington, who oversees a Halloween type realm, kidnaps Santa Claus, but learns a lesson in the process. A bit scary for wee ones, it will delight older kids and adults.

4. Scrooged. Bill Murray is funny in this modern-day version of the Dickens Classic. His scenes with Bobcat Goldthwait, who plays a TV executive Murray fires on Christmas Eve, will make you laugh so hard you'll cry. This has got to be the funniest Christmas movie ever made. Ever.

The final three are in no particular order. They are all great.

3. A Charlie Brown Christmas. You have Snoopy, a sad little Christmas tree made beautiful, a Linus soliloquy and Charlie Brown seeking the true meaning of Christmas. What in the world could be better?

2. It's a Wonderful Life. Heck, it is a classic show. A feel good show. Who isn't moved by this movie? You have to love Jimmy Stewart, the classic lines and the joy of finding out just how important he is to his family and town. While you're renting this one, go ahead and rent Harvey too.

1. A Christmas Story. "You'll put your eye out!" A boy. A bb gun. A very strange looking lamp. This is a classic through and through, and I don't know about you, but I'll watch it probably 100 times this season.

This is just my little list. Nothing comprehensive, and there are many others I enjoy, but they are my favorites.

You may call Clay Morgan at 666-2440 (office) or 670-3658 (cell) or e-mail him at cmorgan@heartlandpublications.com.